@MsToshay

I wish I could've wrote this for you awhile ago...

So when I describe how I feel about ya you don't feel like you was the last to know.

But I been peepin game since we was high schoolers

I been wantin you, but I knew I wasn't the coolest...

But back then I had another HEATON PLACE obsession

Y'know way back when? I seem real wack back then

But back to the present, a spitting image of HEAVEN.

If PERFECT had an image, you'd be its reflection

I know I may not have the EXCLUSIVE clothes and kicks...

But I could be the one you EXCLUSIVE with...

Ima say it: I'm the kinda dude you can have a FUTURE with.

But I as I digress, I know this process...

And let me suggest, I'm the BEST by FAR

I don't "American Idol"-ize, You can find me "Dancing With The Stars"

Let me take you to the top, and you'll see aint no stoppin it...

While I rock it, have you realize who you rockin with...

Let ya kiss melt in my mouth like chocolate

With ya hair and nails done up, girl you got your act together

You get the thumbs up, your raw footage is uncut.

I see your beauty is UNTOUCHED, So for anybody to come across it is DUMB LUCK.

Too many hard shames, the hardest one is saying goodbye

 Look here, time is money so let me save you some time

And if you got a spare dime, fully understand I'm a rare find 

You know, so pick a day and pick a place and we there for sure.

Show you something different, something international

Cuz it seems to me, that you a queen to be

You mean girl, but you don't mean to be

So if you can see the future, then that means you can see me.

I'm feeling ya vibe, All I'm asking for is some time...

I'll give you the swisher, so we can both feel the high

Ya dreams look like they ready to fly, but the question is are you ready to ride?

I wish I could've wrote this for you awhile ago...

So when I describe how I feel about ya, you don't feel like you was the last to know.

But I'ma type this still though...

Nothing left to lose, so here goes...

This Is... [This Is...]

Briana Latrise... And in my opinion, she has the most SEXIEST mind. EVER.

Plus, her blogs are ILL.

And she likes the same liquor as me.

So that makes her ILL...

[brianalatrise.blogspot.com]

-end

Dr. Carmen Hayes

[Door Opens...Shuts]

[Dr. Hayes]

Good Morning Najee...

[Naj]

What's Good Doc?

[Dr. Hayes]

So you're getting married today right? And yet, you've come to see me. How do you feel about

that?

[Naj]

Really... I feel um, ANXIOUS. NERVOUS.

[Dr. Hayes]

Ah, ANXIETY.

[Naj]

I mean, ANXIOUS about starting a new life. Making a family. Y'know, leaving all the bullshit behind me? So, I'm nervous.

[Dr. Hayes]

Nervous? C'mon Najee, you're a big boy now. Your wife is beautiful. You're sounding like a bit of a BITCH. You can do this... Did you find a best man yet?

[Naj]

Did you just call me a... Never mind. Best man? Um, I can't decide between two.

[Dr. Hayes]

Well, if you find one then you find one. If you dont, you dont...

[Naj]

I mean, um... I gotta have a best man. But of course I gotta talk to em and feel em out. He gotta be responsible with the ring and...

[Dr. Hayes]

Rings? What do you need a ring for? I mean its not like its a REQUIREMENT or anything.

[Naj]

Yeah, but I thought that the rings were a...

[Dr. Hayes]

So what else is your mind?

[Naj]

Well, I know I gotta start practicing my vows and everything....

[Dr. Hayes]

Really? Are you writing your own?

[Naj]

Yeah

[Dr. Hayes]

I would'nt do that. Nope. Not me... I could barely remember the vows that the minister had me repeat.

[Naj]

Really?

[Dr. Hayes]

Yes. Anything else Najee?

[Naj]

Well, the real question I have is... What if y'know, I find myself in a situation and I'm with my boys and they chillin wit some girls or we're in a club...get tempted to...

[Dr. Hayes]

Talk to her. Fuck her.

[Naj]

Excuse me... What?

[Dr. Hayes]

Sleep with her Najee. Gosh, just sleep with her. Or you could sleep with me... Nobody will know.

[Naj]

Sleep with you? Are you NUTS!? If I do that, I already know what that'll lead to.

[Dr. Hayes... Voice Distorted]

What? Back Here? With Me?

[Naj]

What the FUCK! NO! Come on man! I'm trying to do right!

[Dr. Hayes... Voice Distorted]

What's the matter Najee? Having some doubts? You'll never leave me... We will always be together... You need no girl but me Najee...

[Naj]

No... No! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Alarm clock sounds...]

[Naj]

What? Ah.... Shit.

[Cut To Eminem's "3 A.M"]

-This was inspired by "Dr.West" a skit performed by EMINEM on his RELAPSE CD. And if you didnt know: Carmen Hayes is an ADULT FILM STAR. Well... My FAVORITE ADULT FILM STAR.

The Doctor is In...

This Album...

is breaking down the walls of "Writer's Block"...

Boomerang: A Manifesto of Some Sort.

**Naj's Note

I made a CONSCIOUS DECISION not to write about KOBE, or the LAKERS winning, Or anything of that sort. But a congratulations go out to dem niggas... [Though it was Trevor Ariza who saved yall asses. That is all.]

There are nights, where something so simple as watching a movie can bring an epiphany. Maybe I shouldnt even say that word because I believe its something we always knew about all along, so we recieve these REMINDERS at the oddest of times. Months, even years pass by before we get that REMINDER and moan about or BITCH about what we lost or what was important to us. And it is such a moment whereas LAST NIGHT, I finally recieved mine.

At the end of this week, it will be 4 going on 5 months where I have been single. Let me correct myself: SINGLE without having SEX. Now I believe there will be a few disbelievers at the screen like "Pssh, whatever nigga", but I tell you... My testimony is TRUE. In the months I have been single, I have not had SEX. I do remember my last partner, location and time. And I can tell you afterwards... I threw it all away. On a Whim, no doubt. I was seeing a girl. A GOOD GIRL. A GREAT GIRL. She cooked, catered to my needs, had the same interests and everything. But, just as suddenly when I began to doubt myself and that relationship. I met someone. My "Jacquelyn Broyer", and I was hooked. I'd wanted her since COLLEGE. She was gorgeous. Sexy. Everything I wanted. And now I have the opportunity to be with her? I went for it. Leaving everything behind in the dust.

Needless to say, the relatonship in itself was a DISASTER. Now I've jumped fences to see if the grass was greener on the side countless times... But DAMN. And as for the girl I left behind? She moved on. That's nothing new, but she did it in a such a harsh way that made me upset. We had nothing to say, we didnt speak. NOTHING. She was recently in an accident/tragedy and I prayed that she was okay. She was, but as I was scheduling to go see her... She told a friend of mine that she didnt want me there. I was HURT, MAD, ASTONISHED, and BEWILDERED. I finally acknowledged the fact that I didnt exist to her. And that upset me to the very core. Cuz I figure I'm a pretty MEMORABLE guy. But NARCISISM aside, I was jealous. How come she could do it, and I couldn't? Why cant she be another distant memory, another notch on the belt, another conversation over beer and cigarettes? Because she got THROUGH. She did. And I had cared. Couldnt she had seen that I cared? But I see I only cared for myself. And I realize that jumping from one hoop to the next when I was good for nothing wasn't smart. How could I try MONOGAMY or COMMITTMENT or be HONEST, when I was none of those to both of those girls? Better yet... HONEST to myself?

I wont lie though. I have LOVED. I've LOVED hard. And I have LOVED & LOST. On this highway we call LIFE, we expect to go through speedbumps of love. But me though, have been on a much bumpier ride. Because I'm so...in LOVE with the thought of love that I treat em like random bus stops on the way. I'm always looking for the next, with one foot out the door. I've let GOOD ones go. GREAT ones even... And I dont think it ws ever about me LOVING them. It was me LOVING them the right way. The way I was supposed to. Eddie Murphy's character talked about love in the movie "BOOMERANG" and Halle Berry's character challenged him with, "You think you know about LOVE? I'm so sick of men using LOVE like its a disease! Love shouldve brought your ass home last night!" And we as men HAVE NOT been home lately. Its funny, I once told an ex of mine that when I was with her, it felt like "home'. I had meant it. But i dont know if I would mean it now. I dont know how I feel now. I dont trust myself to fall in love, because I think I find it in every girl that I meet. But when I do LOVE again, I want to be SCARED. I want to be MISERABLE. I dont want to BREATHE...

I don't know where I had planned to go with this, or what point I was trying to make. I just wanted to say something. Maybe share how I felt...

Oh and that reminder? It wasn't a girl from my past... It wasn't past mistakes... It was REASSURANCE...

It was LOVE.

"That's TOO FAR NIGGA!" - KanYe West

"And My [BARS] Are As [HEAVY] as a [T-O-N]"

-Charles Hamilton "Awesomely Sweet"

I'm thinking my blogs are gonna start off like that from now on. Y'know, like the beginning of "The Wire"? Maybe I'm losing you... Anywayz, there is really nothing going on in LIFE right about now. It took the NBA Finals to OT of Game 3 to somehow captivate my attention. Honestly, I just loved seeing Pau Gasol get amped and look like he was gonna beat Mickael Pietrus' ASS. That was HYPE for me. And it was nice to see a DEREK FISHER appearance in the GRAND FASHION that he kills niggas from deep [You can't give him that much space Jameer.] My dude Marc-Lo has been getting on me for not being that interested in the FINALS, but I'm like "Who the fck is playing? The Lakers? [WOW!] The MAGIC? [WHO?]" I'm sorry, I for one is not gonna jump on them bum niggas bandwagon cause they beat LB23 and Co. [The CAVS]. Cause really, NIKE COMMERCIALS or not... I really wanted to see LeBron Vs. Kobe. Kobe Vs. Lebron. Black Mamba Vs. King James. WHAT HAVE YOU! I wanted to see it, but the Refs and conventional wisdom was like, "Owwww! FUHGED-ABOUT-IT" [Another CH line]

Anywayz, this series is to me is nothing but everybody dickriding. Yeah, I said it. DICKRIDING. Niggas who aint NEVER watched a MAGIC game and only know Dwight Howard and claiming them is a DICKRIDER. Niggas who appear in LeBron NIKE commercials and then proceed to make a whole song to KOBE BRYANT is... A DICKRIDER [Hi WAYNE.] Like the nigga aint never put up 40 on a team before? FUCKOUTTAHERE! Let me stop before I go on CHRIS ROCK rant like he did on Luda's CD... [HILARIOUS!] But honestly though, REP who you wanna REP and move on. I myself, a CELTICS [and closet KNICK] fan aint really fazed by it all and I picked it soon as the the NUGGETS fell: The LAKE-SHOW in 5. It's 3-1... and I'm looking like a muhfuckin PROPHET.

I digress, TWITTER is a crazy lil thing man. Me, I was tired of loggin on just to TWEET so I d/l'd TWEETDECK. And its convient as a muhfucka... yeah as a muhfucka... I can FACEBOOK and TWEET all fckin day. Niiiice. I got a chance to holla at BRIANA LATRISE last night about Charles Hamilton/J DILLA/Detroit Bullshit and she really put me on point. Now if you dont know what's goin on, you aint a HIP-HOP head so I wont go into it. GOOGLE IT or GO ON allhiphop.com or something. And for the two replies she gave me, gave me all the more evidence I needed to prove me and BRIANA would be a CLAS-SICK item...

"Sheeeyah! And pigs would fly out my butt..."- "Waynes World"

So I'm headed to VA for my cuz's GRADUATION ["Good Morning Intro" plays distant in the background] and I'm happy for the little nigga as well as jealous. That nigga is goin to TOKYO for a fucking MANGA/ANIME internship. And plus, at a ripe age of 21 I feel kinda old. It was only yesterday when this nigga was like 13 following me around the mall and me and him could quote every BRAD and GEORGE line from "Ocean's Twelve'... Where does the time go? Honestly.

So... I believe my time is UP. Gotta head back to Marc-Lo's and get my clothes out the dryer for the trip. I dried them shits like 4 times already... DAMN! If they aint ready, when I get there Ionknow WTF imma do.

[end of transmission]

-get familiar.

NAJ

[Pre-Blog] That's Spectacular... I Guess.

That's Spectacular! from jeff on Vimeo.

Sky Might Fall

ok.. For the past couple weeks, I have NOT made a post to my blog, but I planned on it. I PROMISE YOU I did. But for some reason, I just didn't have the words to say what I wanted. I was afraid that maybe I wouldn't mean some of the words I said. That's kinda wierd, especially coming from me... A person who takes solace in his blogs. But, now I think I can kinda air some ish out.

So, I've been talking something CRAZY I was doing on the last blog. And that "crazy thing" is joining the MILITARY. Yup, the MARINES. I'm not lying, DEAD ASS. I'm joining the fucking MARINES. It bugged me out too, so I imagine the 2 people who probably reads this is lyke, "Naj, what the fuck yo? Word? Serious?" But yeah, I joined the Marines. I really felt that right now in my life, at the ripe age of 21 that I have to DO SOMETHING. I mean, Niggas out here is stagnant right now, doing NOTHING. And that was me: Smoking weed, playing spades and Madden @ Marc-Lo's, drinking and trying to record a mixtape. That was my life and I was determined to do something different. I was bugged out yo, when I was being SWORN in. I was like, "Naj, this is really happening." And since then, A nigga has been straight edge. No weed, a lil alcohol here and there, running 3 miles 3x a week. I mean, word! I'm doing it. I'm on my way. I see a change in myself that I've been dying to see. And that makes me happy.

As of late, I've been a few blogs... Just to kinda jog my blog writing and a blog that I've drawn to as of late is Charles Hamilton. You know him right? "Brooklyn Girls"? That nigga. He's so fckin dope. I really feel like me and dude could like have a Newport and just zone out musically or just have a DOPE conversation. I feel a lot of the things he says and I can HONESTLY feel him. I mean a nigga was homeless too for a short while, and his GRIND is ADMIRABLE. I've decided that when I get the money: CHARLES HAMILTON is gonna produce "N PLANE SIGHT: The Audio Motion Picture" or Executive Produce it, whateva. And it helps that his intern/photographer/chick who punched him in the face [which I didnt care] Briana Latrise is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. I mean she just is... I mean looks is one thing... but her voice? Sends me over the edge. And that's all I'll say about it. Other than I want CHARLES HAMILTON to produce the album.

Speaking of the album, WRITING for that shit is absolutely FUCKING annoying! I truly believe that listening to "SO FAR GONE" really stifled me creatively. I mean cuz every song that I write sounds like fucking "SAY WHAT'S REAL" or "Uptown" amongst others. I mean FCK! I mean, I didnt have this kind of problem when I was writing "NRB" except for the WRITERS BLOCK. And when me and Toya broke up or started going through our problems as well as the TJ bullshit, I just threw that album away... With 2 songs left to write. Dumb, I know. But that was just a period that I didnt wanna put on wax. And now, I'm just fcking LOST. I have a partial tracklist and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. So I decided to listen to a lot of OTHER SHIT. CHARLES HAMILTON, KID CUDI, JAY-Z, KANYE WEST, A little bit of CLIPSE, CAM'RON's new joint and damn... what else? I'll know by the end of the blog.

As far as girls, I havent ben stressing the situation. That comes when it comes, so its whatever. Its like I'm hardly even talking to girls outside of a friendship or harmless flirting that I know will lead to NO WHERE... There is this woman named ESHA though...

FUCK! MOS DEF! That's it! Mos's new joint! THE ECSTATIC is VICIOUS...COLD... You must cop it.

So that's about it on the blog tip. It's 3:43 in the AM, and I got a loooong day ahead. So I'm out...

LOOK FOR THIS ON MYSPACE...

-NAJ