Parachutes

"In a haze, a stormy haze,

I’ll be round, I’ll be loving you always, always...

Here I am and I'll take my time,

Here I am and I’ll wait in line always, always..."

-Coldplay "Parachutes"

I remember when I was 13 and I fell upon this CD. Coldplay was far from my radar as I was still jamming Jay's "Blueprint" and Nas' "Stillmatic" trying to figure who was better. But in between a Real World episode, I heard "Yellow" and it was the most beautiful, poignant song I ever heard. I actually thought of The Beatles when I heard it. After that I was hooked... I needed more. In a mini library in Dumfries, VA, there is a copy of the CD. Solely because I demanded that they get it. That's it... Enough of my backstory...

Its something about this song that kinda eases my mind. Its like... Even though things are going wrong, even though the worst may happen... He's there. Always. Its a give and take with relationships. You may never agree, see eye to eye... or even get along... But the point is that, even at the end of it all... You'll be right there. Always. I mean, you fight and argue... make up and breakup... You look for reasons to leave, look for excuses to stay... But when you HAVE that person, even in the midst of uncertainty and doubt... You have a feeling... Something in your intuition that lets you know that you've made the right choice... And that feeling is like jumping out of an airplane. Where you're free falling thru the clouds... And the deafening sound of wind fills your ears and all you can see is the white from the clouds and the blue from the sky. You're falling and wondering, "Why the hell did I jump?" and then... A parachute comes out of nowhere and slows everything down... And that freefall becomes something controlled...

And that my friend is love. That's the only way to explain it. And I experience it everyday... We may fuss, argue... Deal with each others attitudes and mood swings... All that is the free fall... And knowing you made the right decision is the parachute...

I may not know that much about anything... Even if I try and act like I do... But I know ONE thing:

Here I am and I will take my time...

Here I am and I'll wait in line...

Always.

Even in a stormy haze.