A [VERSE] I Wrote for "Fall For Your Type"

[N]
Uh, I caught a glimpse of your facebook the other day...
Lookin at all the pics we took, I wondered what I should say
I thought of "Hey, how you doing?" but I wasn't really sure
My minds works in overdrive, I know you'll wonder if my feelings pure

Maybe he playing, girl he drunk... These are comments that I expect
Weeks go by, and I still havent thought of a clever message yet
Why we aint talking now? I try to think of a couple reasons...
Then I think I'll just get at you after football season

Cause when them Steelers and Ravens start to play
Lines get drawn, and we like Jamie and LL fighting on "Any Given Sunday"
Maybe I pushed myself away because I thought you were pushing back...
I thought the clever things I did went unrecognized, so I just cut the slack

We arguing more and more, and you saying I dont listen...
You saying that I'm soft but baby what is hards definition?
You dont appreciate the distance? I pushed you away?
What can one expect when you threw nothing but shade my way

U say you got messages about me and other women...
But if we never was together, then whats the problem pimpin?
I told you I wanted us defined, but its complicated was on my wall...
I guess I had to miss what was gone... but yet and still I fall...

21 Years Later... And [STILL] Funky Enough...

This song here made me realize [RAP] was [REAL]... Before Ice Cube dropped his solo shit, The D.O.C was the one ripping it. Dre and Eazy looked like geniuses. Then tragedy struck and The D.O.C lost his voice, left LA and moved to TX and had a baby with who eventually had ANOTHER baby with one of my favorite LYRICISTS. We know her as Erykah Badu. Nevertheless, when I want to listen to REAL HIP-HOP... Before I put on "Food and Liquor" and way before I dig in and play "Reasonable Doubt"... I play this song. Why? Cause Dre said "Its Funky Enough"...

Enjoy.

...An [ODE] to [MONROE]...

"We got [WIFEY], we [ALL] want a [MONROE] though..."

Ode To Monroe by Taylor_GANG

...[HOLD] Up...

Don't get it twisted... I love ART. And I LOVE Photography. Kanye was talking about Helmut Newton's photography in a interview and twitter once. So I did my research and fell in love with his work. If he was alive, I'd want him to do the photography for my album. But I'll settle for David LaChappelle and/or Anthony Mandler...

Anywayz... Peep the new joint... "Hold Up" feat. Young Kevin Johnson

[Another J.Cole beat held hostage by me.]

Oh and why I posted this picture? Cause this picture describes the song in a way. And its my fcking blog. I does what I want.

Hold Up by Taylor_GANG

...Runaway [In & Out]...

Runaway [In And Out] by Taylor_GANG

Let's [HAVE] a [TOAST]... Kanye with a [NYCE] spin to it...

930pm In Oceanside...[AUDIO]

930pm In Oceanside by Taylor_GANG

This is how it came out...

[LYRICS] 930pm in Oceanside...

This is the part where I fall right?

Where I fail and crawl away from sight?

Where I break down and prove all the hatas right

Well I'm sorry, losing just don't fit my type

So yall just gonna have to hear me out tonite

At my staged funeral wearing all white

Excuse my smile, but ya faces is a funny sight

Where I been? I been writing down all of my feelings

Whatever those feelings is, is clearly appealing

Can you feel the heat rise? The tension building?

Spirit of Marvin Gaye giving some type of healing

Look at the man in the mirror, the image is revealing

I cant help but smile and say Damn I'm brilliant...

Go ahead and ask about the Marines, you know they pay

I just spent over 350 dollars in less than thirty days

Damn, I guess it costs just to be a boss

But Naeshawn is good so it aint a loss

So son, I'm just out here providing for ya

Even though ya moms say different, she just hatin cuz!

Ya... My pain is the beat for the mean lyrics

Camels and Newports provides the room an incense

When I make it, I politely ask all not to ask for a cent

That's just the Dos Equis talking, its got a nigga bent

Relationships in minuses and I cant tell whats up

[You gon mention Portia's name?] Here's a minor plug...

Hello dear, can you hear me clear?

Do you got me turned up, is Brian standing near?

Step away from ya True Blood and the Crown in ya cup

I just really wanna say I wish yall the best of luck

The redskins are doin good and the eagles are steppin up...

How do I know you rep them teams is really crazy as fuck

I swear... AH! Before I really start to lose focus...

New guy, I need you to really take notice...

I hope you enjoy the seat that I gave up

Wit yo lame ass profile pic seems like a setup

IDK why PNJ aint tell you its the most ridiculous getup

Everybody is listenin thinkin Naj got better

I'll just end it right there fore' I get a nasty letter

Yeah, I told em all I'll win in overtime...

Bittersweet taste of revenge is how I get mines

Damn... How can I stay so hood?

Lemme take it back to smoking good out in Hardwood

Girls falling thru the crib with the chest bustin out

Now I'm surrounded by girls mom warned me about

Writing a new mixtape, now things gotta click

How do I improve from the first and make a hit

Considering this breakup had a nigga pissed

Do I continue with the story if as if she doesnt exists?

So do it Naj, do it... Go ahead and let it rip

And if they ask for a split, dont give em shit

I swear rolling with the US, I got a real team

Steppin up in the pocket, call me Willie Beamen

Touchdown for Dynamik, Nyce is at the forefront

Say I'm wack, my reply is do you really need to stunt?

Let me go back to the old me...

Cause this dude is somebody you dont wanna see

Am I spazzin out? I say hell yeah probably...

Is this what yall want? Done took Drake's Chris Tucker impression

Fck the questions... Im done with suggestions...

Fall back, you trippin easily...

Middle fingers up at all who oppose me...

So when you fall, I hope you land on both knees...

Cant yall see? I'm so N-Y-C-E

Nigga yeah...

Is this what yall want?

Really? This is what yall want?

Fck it then...

Here you go...

[Written two weeks ago... I recorded that same night... IDK if I'll release it... Its just an example of where I was at...]

This is [GENIUS]....

...Kanye's [BANNED] album cover for "Dark Twisted Fantasy"...

...[DARK], [TWISTED] Fantasy...

I write this a bit inspired from Kanye West XXL article. I've rarely blogged and I apologize for that. A lot of things haven't made me want to talk to 5 of you who probably take time out to read this. But, all in all... I just been a bit... busy. Busy doing nothing. So I begin by asking you, "What is the definition of classic?" Jay-Z made "Reasonable Doubt"... Biggie made "Ready to Die". They did that cause they could. It was a time where they could be honest. Think about the hottest dude out there right now. Could Drake make "Reasonable Doubt"? Could Wayne make "Ready to Die"? FUCK NO. A lot of em are too worried about swag and fanciness and not being a human being... Ironically, they got that whole swag and fancy thing from Hova. Have I been concerned with making a classic? Yes. Did I think I made a classic with "Believe in Make Believe"? No. Honestly... I didn't. Most of the songs on there were songs I felt I could do better or songs I thought Portia would like. Some songs were actually from the heart. Maybe, I wasnt thinking at all.

I've been dealing with the "BIMB" thing and the Portia fall out for a while now. They came hand in hand. I was on top of the world, and it came crashing down. All in a couple days of its release. I didnt know what to do after me and Portia broke up. I was still dealing with the reaction from the mixtape. People wanted more... But I couldn't write. I wasn't the same person that wrote "BIMB"... So I couldnt be in that space to do "N Plane Sight" justice. I was just plain angry... I was listening to early T.I. and Rick Ross new album and a lot of other songs... It just ended up being an angry pre-write. [Definition: I write songs before I record... So I pick and choose after I'm done.] It was basically my version of "The Marshall Mathers LP". But what I liked the most about it was its honesty. I told the truth but that doesn't mean its okay to express those feelings. A lot of songs were aimed at Portia. I was beefing... HARD. And she of all people knows, I'm dangerous with words. I would've hurt her to no end. And at that time, I didn't care.

I wasnt expecting the reaction from that mixtape, that's why writing for "N Plane Sight" was equally harder on me. How can I expand on that... "BIMB" was talking about making it... the journey to success, to dreams. "N Plane Sight" was about realizing it... I felt that I didnt realize it yet. I felt lost... I talked to "Catherine" plenty of times thru text talking to her about my music and writers block... She told me to take my time. Experience life some more. But what was left to experience? Heartache? Sadness? Regret? Anger? I did that. I realized I possibly could've thrown a molotov cocktail at my own career before it started. I wasnt in a great spot to write... So I secluded myself. I stopped listening to my favorites and found new ones. "Pilot Talk" by Curren$y really peaked my interest again... and Kanye's reemergence with "G.O.O.D Fridays" actually saved me. Listening to Pusha T and his braggadocio coke raps, Big Sean...Wiz Khalifa... These people shaped a new love... gave me hope. I went back to SC and started to forget about Portia. I forgot the pad and pen. I started writing in my blackberry. I found more people who rapped and formed a group. I started building... finding other avenues of creativity.

Basically I forgot about the bullshit. And thats what I did. I spent from July to now improving on my craft. Improving every element of myself as a person and a rapper. Honestly, I'm writing way better now. Because now, its not about coming up with lines. I'm comfortable with just doing it and making it rhyme. I've done some recording just to see where I am... And I may release it. IDK yet... A lot of songs still detail me and Portia's breakup... But its okay. I'm man enough to make songs about being jealous and me poking fun at her new guy. I still have a lot of pain. and I needed to write it out. So I did. I feel that now... towards the end, is when the real DYNAMIK/NYCE music is really coming to fruition... Coming to the forefront... I'll never write 'Far from Gone' again... I'll most definitely never write 'Portia James Music' again. But hey, I said that about "Everything's Right"... LOL.

But really, I had ego on the first album. I really had an ego and when me and Portia broke up, my ego was crushed. I'm still trying to flip that into a sense of humor. I also realized that, I'm not DRAKE, I'm not JAY-Z, I'm not KANYE WEST. I have to be DYNAMIK. And that was extremely liberating... Kanye says "You can have genius moments. But you can lose the genius too." I lost the genius for a minute. I had to get that back. I feel that this journey is a fantasy... I couldnt believe what I had to go thru to get to this point. I totally scrapped "N Plane Sight"... I decided that yesterday... I'm another tip right now. Like I started listening to Sade and J.Cole a lil bit and Scarface's "The Fix" [WHICH IS A HEAVY FUCKING ALBUM] and I'm kinda getting that itch... I'm excited again... I'm on another plane... "Life at 20,000 ft"... That's the tentative album name... But you know... I'm ever changing. Each day, I change a lil... I get inspired by something everyday... I've had more conversations, drank more alcohol, had more sleepless nights. But its all good. Everything is right in this dark, twisted fantasy of mine.

[PRE]game

N Plane Sight tracklisting #1

1. What's The Word? [Intro] A skit Caruso was SUPPOSED to do for B.I.M.B.

2. The song where I say I'm Back...

3. I'm NOT a STAR

4. Naj for President

5. The song where you think you're in the first scene of 'BELLY'

6. Last name, First Name

7. The song where I state that I'm cooler than you [No Mike Posner]

8. Fck The Money

9. Denials, Delusions, Decisions

10. Politics As Usual

11. The closest I'll get to making an Eminem's "KIM" song.

12. Deiondra Sanders Music

13. The Song where I attempt to do "FANCY" over

14. I Feel Free

15. Blinded

16. This is a little song about Heartache

17. The title track goes here

You Know, You Know...

You Know, You Know by Taylor_GANG

Something [NEW]... as a THANK YOU...

The [PRE]lude

*Pardon me, "Maybach Music III" plays in the background...*

Months, maybe even weeks from now, I'll probably be able to tell you how I feel about my first mixtape. I can't tell you how I feel because I haven't fully soaked it all in yet. This was a LABOR of LOVE and I don't even feel that 13 tracks have said all I needed to say. I kinda consider this is a PROLOGUE... a PRELUDE for things to come. You gotta understand, I've been writing since I could remember, and I only started rapping, like seriously RAPPING, seriously RAPPING since I was 18. "Feel Like A King" was the spark. I remember nervous as fuck around BLU and everybody from WSB [Westside Bethea] I never really did this shit before... But once he hit record, I was off and running...

"The theme song to the sopranos, rhymes in the key of life of my mental piano" I remembered how niggas looked when I said that line. PRICELESS. I put everything I had into this. Being stressed out, just wanting everything to be good. I didn't care about a contract, I just wanted people to hear what I had to say. So I gave you insight on my life... I gave you a preview of my thoughts. I wanted you to see where I was coming from.

20 downloads? I didnt know 20 people cared...

50? close to a 100? Wait a minute... this is becoming a movement.... Its not everyday you see a line you wrote as someones status on FaceBook. A girl told me she loved "Portia James Music" because of its honesty... A lot of niggas love "On" or "Power 2.0"... I never expected this response... I thank you all from the bottom of my heart... I appreciate it.

Dont ask me when the next one is coming out though! LOL...

I'll say this... When it does... It'll be "N PLANE SIGHT"...

[HAPPY]birthday...

http://www.mediafire.com/?bicdebeib6yi3ac

[COVER]ed

It's all coming together...

"...Believe In Make Believe..."

7202010... 12am.

21st [CENTURY] Schitzo!!

Power 2.0 by Taylor_GANG

Much love to KanYe...

[CHANGES]come...

I knew I would change the track-listing... But I didn't know when... I feel like an actual artist tryna outsmart somebody tryna leak my shit... But actually, I just heard new beats and it put it in another place... I just had to write over em... And I'm glad I did. The HARDEST thing about this album is STAYING the course. The album has a theme, and the songs are like chapters. Its nothing but a journey. With, "Believe in Make Believe", there isn't an absolute theme. I just really wanted to make some DOPE songs. And certain songs have a lot more meaning than others. Pre-writing the album, I talked about discontent with the Marine Corps, discontent with myself...and discontent with others [women for one]. But after, I didn't really wanna delve that deep into those situations. "Best Laid Plans" clearly goes there about one particular person, but really I felt that I had to go into detail. I had to get all of that out. That and "Regrets" are the most songs I allowed myself to get personal on. Others are just more fun... and just showing I can rap.

So the new track-listing goes like this:

1. What's the word? [intro]
2. Grand Introduction
3. Who Dat
4. Exhibit N
5. Light Up
6. Big Sh*t
7. Something About Us...
8. On
9. Power 2.0
10. Aint Nothing on Me
11. Best Laid Plans
12. Going In For Life
13. Champion Requiem
14. Regret
15. Up
16. .... @ 1st Sight
17. Fireworks
18. Believe in Make Believe
19. Far from Gone...

Best [LAID] plans lyrics...

I don't know if my words can help this...

I should've known this by now...

But you know how much I wanted to say it...

It's probably useless anyhow...

So if you wanna go... That means you didn't really wanna know...

They say things are never perfect...

And I wonder if its worth it...

They say its easier when you don't fight it

The 2nd time isn't anything like it...

But I dont even feel it anymore...

All this time I wanted to be your man

Its just better off a best laid plan...

Better than its ever been...

So if you wanna go...

Will these words even help?

Damn, its crazy... I swear you're the only girl I've adored

So I'm confused when you tell me don't text anymore...

Damn, of all the things you could've said...

Doesn't compare to all the games that we played

I'm having trouble sleeping, I wonder if you sleep alone

In that bed, does he warm that cold heart you call your own?

Its been a minute so I know it sounds crazy

I still hear echoes of your voice saying "baby"...

Drake say that the first love is the sweetest

Cheryl Crow say the first cut is the deepest

You tried to hold us together and I was holding onto secrets

I realize you were only tryna save me from me...

I'm getting older but I'm still young and unlucky...

So if you wanna go...

So if you wanna go...

They say things are never perfect...

And I wonder if its worth it...

So if you wanna go...

So if you wanna go...

They say things are never perfect...

a minor [SWITCH]up

Due to the writing process, and things that I've experienced or thought about... Whether it be alcohol or just my brain moving too fast... I decided to switch some songs around... and add some new ones... As it stands right now... the tracklisting part 2 is as follows:

1. Grand Re-introduction
2. Power 2.0
3. Who Dat
4. Exhibit N
5. Light Up
6. Big Sh*t
7. Thank You & You're Welcome
8. On
9. Aint Nothing on Me
10. Best Laid Plans
11. Going In For Life
12. TeeTee's Interlude
13. Regret
14. Up
15. ... @ 1st Sight
16. 9pm in Oceanside
17. Miss Me?
18. Believe in Make Believe

Knowing me, it'll probably change a couple days from now... But I'm pretty sure I'm fine with it for the moment.

If [DRAKE] met [DYNAMIK]...

Light Up (final mix) by Taylor_GANG

Then I would've been on "Light Up"...

Here's my [VERSION]...

1st Track... [ON]

On (final cut) by Taylor_GANG

This is the 1st track done from "Believe in Make Believe"

Shout out to [Donnis]...

His [GONE] turned into my [ON]...

[THANK] me [LATER]...

[LAYIN]' tha [GROUNDWORK]...

As with every mixtape, or album I start... I always write out the titles first to the songs. Its a backwards process, but yet I feel more at ease when I do this. I decided to name this project, "Believe in Make Believe" because make believe isn't just your imagination, or fantasy. Sometimes, make believe is the IMPOSSIBLE... the UNKNOWN even. If you believe in that, then you can believe in anything. So here's the tentative tracklisting:

1. Grand Introduction
2. Dynamik's in the House
3. Who Dat
4. Exhibit N
5. Light Up
6. Making of A Legend
7. Aint Nothing on Me
8. On
9. Weak
10. Going In For Life
11. TeeTee's Interlude
12. Fall For Your Type
13. Regret
14. The Declaration
15. .... at 1st Sight
16. Make Believe

[BRAIN]storming...

This is what I do before I write a song... [BRAIN]storm... by myself or wit the [GANG].

...[BELIEVE] in Make [BELIEVE]... Coming [SOON].

[ALARM] Clock [RENDEZVOUS]

The way I feel... Is something real...

Its not your hair, it ain't your clothes, I'll just say its your APPEAL

This thing I'm feeling, the things I'm saying...

All just happened, tell me what can I do to make you stay?

The suns about to rise and there's color to the sky

But girl, I just don't want you to leave...

You say you ain't that type, so lets just do it right

But damn girl, I don't wanna leave you.

Can I hear you say my name? Again...

Can I ask if you feel same? I ain't come to play no games...

There's nothing left here for us to say...

But come right here and put your bag down...

Show me that lingerie and twirl around...

Turn the lights off, but keeps those heels on

Tonight is ours and its ours alone...

Lean closer to my ear, and tell me everything you want me to hear

Let me lay your body down... let your body do the talking

I know this is a dream, but this ain't something that we do often

I know its getting late...

Ring Ring... let the alarm sound

Tonight girl, imma lay your body down...

And I know imma wake up late

But baby, you and I we got a date...

So let it [Ring Ring] let it [Ring Ring]

Baby don't you worry bout a thing

Go and let it [Ring Ring] let it [Ring Ring]

I'll worry bout the consequences, baby imma make your body sing...

Don't worry bout the repercussions, baby imma make your body sing

You can cum, you can arrive... I ain't stopping till I cant close my eyes...

The Resistance 2.0

[N]

Hello world... I'm just... goin thru things...

Imma just get it all out there...

Had to steal this one from Drizzy

I'm sippin wine and drinking beer right now...

So forgive me...

Matter fact... I dont really care...

Here I go!

[N]

Should I just escape to PS?

That's Palm Springs for the ones thats ever made it.

I'm stuck in living in moments with no one here to share it

I mean where do I begin

Alcohol makes the memories faded, I hardly relate to my niggas home

Cause they never made it

So here I am... still here in the same place I started in

They say start your life... but not where it ends.

I dial numbers late... I hear the voicemail again

I be talking to myself... self-converstation

I'm almost 23, but niggas think I got a money tree.

They just want to spread it around... Najee Appleseed

Its like no one wants a part of me.

The picture on facebook is the only thing they see

It's happening all it once, like Perry said.

I just wonder should I avoided the right way and went left instead

I'm tryna do better than good enough...

But these thoughts wont ever let up...

[Chorus]
What am I afraid of?
This is what dreams are supposed to be made of
The people I don’t have time to hang with
Always look at me and say the same sh-t
"You promised me you would never change"
Oh, huh huh
Oh, huh huh
Oh, huh huh
"You promised me you would never change"

Oh, huh huh
Oh, huh huh

[N]

Am I wrong for hiding my situation

Especially when TIP got something for me sip on

They say that I'm on, so the problem is to stay on

But I aint tryna stay long..

Just get a plate from the buffet on...

I heard for three weeks my mom aint had the water on

And I be actin like I dont know how to work a phone

But go thru my recent call log

and you'll see that I'll call girls that I barely want at all

I keep wondering who's gonna be the first to get it

When will I finally be accepted?

I couldnt tell you the fuck my head is

Cause niggas at work be making my life hectic

Its like holding on by a thread...

its like I'm high right now

Almost a year but I feel like rolling a plane right now

Look in my eyes, you'll see nothing is a surprise right now.

Cause I'm supposed to be living the life right now...

[Chorus]
What am I afraid of?
This is what dreams are supposed to be made of
The people I don’t have time to hang with
Always look at me and say the same sh-t
"You promised me you would never change"
Oh, huh huh
Oh, huh huh
Oh, huh huh
"You promised me you would never change"

Oh, huh huh
Oh, huh huh

[N]

My sister Facebooked me and asked why I dont like or care about her.

Kinda shocked me because in all honesty I forgot about her.

Which makes me question when did I go missing...

Should go to the ending or start at the beginning

Am I really treatin my friends different?

Maybe the Marine Corps sped the pace up

Or the alcohol that I drink cant keep my face up

Maybe the girl I cared about wont pick the fucking phone up

And finish a conversation that she fuckin started up

I know, but at the same time I forget

Listenin to Drizzy, bout to roll a blunt with a list of regrets

Burn baby burn, its hard to start fresh

If i ever get it right then I probably guessed

Did I trade my free time for Uncle Sam's time

Will I pull a Cobain... and blow my mind?

The door's open, but a nigga need closure...

Aint no comin out though, I'm in it til its over...

**Inspired by Drake's "The Resistance"**

cabin[FEVER]

[N]

Yeah...

You already know what it is...

Quick something...

I dont even know what ima say first...

[N]

Black hat, black chucks, with some straight legs on...

Once said I love H.E.R, but she dont answer the phone...

They say I'm in love... that I can't let go of my past chicks...

Let her out the house and imma leave wit your chick

Wake up and go to sleep to Cali every night

I dont got everything I want tho so it aint life

Keep thinking bout the days I used to break down weed and make planes

Its funny how a couple months changes everything...

Been here so long, I picked up Wiz Khalifa's flow...

Roc Boys, Taylor Gang... yupp, still the same tho....

Alcohol leave my mouth with no taste...

The Naj from yesterday is just a cold case

Simple hoes whisper in my ear how they can take her place

Braggin how they can throw it back, and they throw me face

Cooped up in my room, cabin fever drivin me insane...

I think the walls are talking, but the conversation aint the same...

Niggas see the gear and give me dap like they fans...

I dont even stunt, mentality like I'm the man...

Hella cig smoke, a lot of pics taken...

I say I'm from GUYANA, hoes swear I'm jamaican...

I try not to talk much, cause too many listening

Not guilty, but I'm swear not innocent...

Cabin fever got a nigga hallucinating...

I think the walls are talking... maybe thats her voice again...

[N]-Talking

Yeaaaahhh Bitch!

That's my Wiz Khalifa impersonation...[laughs]

Niggas know... Taylor Gang, rain, sleet or snow... them hoes run in they best clothes!

Shoutout to Cobain! I see you nigga!

I told you, i aint even know what I was gonna say...

This aint even make sense to me...

Cabin fever...

We gone.

...Thank me [LATER]...

Thanks for keeping a [SECRET]...

Thanks for the [LIFT]...

Thanks for [RE-CONSIDERING]

Thanks for [NOT] shooting

Thanks for the [DRINK]

Thanks for [LEADING] by example

Thanks for letting me [THINK] you're [MINE], but you're [NOT]

Thanks for [PASSING] by

Thanks for [NOTICING]

Thanks for the [LAST] time we were together

Thanks for the [FIRST] time we met

Thanks for [NOTHING]

Thanks for [EVERYTHING]...

Thanks for coming too [SOON]

Thanks for reminding me I can be [GREATER]...

Thank me [NOW]...

or you can always THANK ME [LATER]...

TeeTee's [INTERLUDE]...

"...Cause when you start to [LAUGH]... Sayin I just [WANT] what I can't [HAVE]..."

"She Don't Wanna Man... She Just Wanna Dance..."

I know alot of niggas was wondering where I was going with the [OVER]time blog. And to be honest, I was too. I actually like that poem [Not saying that I didn't like it] and I thought it went straight to the point. But in all reality, it was more of a DISTRESS call, then a poem. Like "HEY! LOOK AT ME!" An attention grabber if you will. I just wanted to be noticed. Did it work? IDK, it remains to be seen. Sometimes, I feel like in most situations when you meet someone or decide to start something... You wonder what they really WANT. Are you that SOMEBODY? [RIP AALIYAH] or just the flava of the week? You gotta ask yourself that. Because when you feeling somebody, like really diggin em', them unanswered texts and that straight to voicemail shit don't cut it jack. I told someone [who I will hold in privacy] that I was gonna ask the voicemail voice to marry me, cause I hear her voice rather than the one I actually WANNA hear. Was I joking? Kinda. That shit gets annoying. Okay you at work? Tell me. You busy? Tell me. Don't wanna talk to me? Why am I even talking to you anyway? But still, TELL ME! It's like damn. I can only understand so far until my mind plays tricks on me and I'm like THIS close to reenacting that telephone scene from "The Wackness" [Great movie.]

Most girls I meet and I know don't actually know what they want. They have a man just to have em'. Cause the shit is cool... Or that they never really went without one. That just dooms the relationship. Its unfair to you and him. Fellas, before you start applauding... We do the same shyt too! [slowly raise my hand] I just think that before the numbers are exchanged, or maybe during the first phone conversation [right after the 3rd "So what you doing?" and preferably before "So whats good for tonite?"] decide what you want. Put all the cards on the table. The shit helps. Because you never know... that girl may not wanna man. She just wanna dance. [Word to Asher Roth]

[OVER]time

As the seconds starts to wind down on the clock...

I wonder if I have the chance to put up a last shot

Should I call timeout and bring it to half court?

Or should I inbound it for a runner just to watch it fall short?

Uh, I can't believe I've went three quarters wit you

You done put me in a position where everythings new.

Once, you were on my team playing pick and rolls wit the back screens

Now you on the opposing side playing zone and puttin me in a double team.

And that's what happens when you face a formidable opponent

Who knows all your moves and dares you to score it.

Who just aint gon let you get them easy baskets

they gon push, they gon pull until you decide to shoot or pass it.

I could easily pull a Kobe and save the day...

Or be like Vince at the free throw line and throw it all away

This begs a question, who wants it more?

Does winning it all tastes better to a previous winner then a someone who's never won it before?

Whoa, if we askin that, I'll say that its the latter

Because I want it more than before, not cause I won it after.

I want it so much that I can taste it

I only stumbled before because I didn't realize what I was faced with...

But now I'm back tryna score with a vengeance

Voice mails when I call plays a great defense

Text msgs unanswered, how can I draw a play for this?

Your play is making me foul out, i'm here defenseless...

How can I score, when I'm not even on the court?

I can't trust my reserves to hold down the fort

So with 5 fouls, and 10 seconds left to go

I'ma leave it all to chance and go wit my last resort

I'ma dribble this up court and pull up for a three... and watch em all go for it

But ima head fake and throw the ball the out of bounds

And look up at the crowd who's all riddled with surprise...

Its better to head to the locker room with the score tied.

I guess we'll just have to settle this in overtime...

An N Commandment P.S.A

GRAND HUSTLE PIMP!

June 15th, 2010...

"This goes out to all my haters tryna dis/me not answering means that you don't exist/And I love to see you [FAIL], that feelings truly the [SHIT!]"

UNTHINKABLE freestyle

Okay... I hear Drizzy as he spit over this remix

Thoughts go thru my head as I wonder if she's heard this

I think about proposals on a future date

I just wanna get the words out the right way

Cause sometimes, when you rush things it comes out as a blunder

But then I get a text sayin that I'll always love ya

Why she had to add an A instead of an O.U?

Does the subtraction of two letters make it true?

I asked if she promised, she texted back "pinky"

I'm thinking we can do it, all I need is her with me

Cause honestly we done survived everything in our history

But if we can do it mentally, why not physically?

Time pass on and I ain't text back

I'm just tryin to find the words to get back on track

500 lightyears, 3 breakups and a baby later

We right back where started from, now the stakes are greater

We aint gettin younger, and we losing time and days

C'mon Najee, say what you gotta say what you gotta say!

We've had so many chances to make this chain unlink-able...

If you ready then I'm ready girl, let's do the unthinkable...

Moment of Honesty...

"Sometimes, I look for love in the wrong people, It's just always seem like the women I find are poison for me. I love women that can just walk into a room and stop the whole area. And I think that those initial qualities always end up getting me hurt, which is a crazy thing for a guy to say... Finding [LOVE] makes you extremely vulnerable. And it's actually a huge risk. I'm just hoping that men really feel where I'm coming from and they're honest with themselves. I know a lot of men feel that way..."

T.R.O.Y: Marty Jermaine Jackson...

Rest In Peace...

Say You Will

[N]

I've been avoiding this beat for about a year now...

I just figured... I had too much to say and not enough time...

I just figured I just get it out now... before it destroys me...

Where do I start?

[N]

Tears falling from my face... no green, just red eyes

Hoodie over my head, feeling like a JEDI

Thinking, "Should I burn this bitch down like Left Eye?"

Damn almost a year ago been such a change for this guy

The Marine Corps aint slow down my desire for fine hoes...

California, so I'm all around those...

But still late at night, I go to my address book and dare scroll

down a list of names, it hurts just to see these names, every night is like a wrong road...

I sit and wonder why it aint work out?

Because for months, niggas put in in my head that relationships wont work out...

So down goes Ebony, down goes Tee-Tee and damn, down goes Portia...

These girls never stood a chance, but Naj you knew it kid didnt cha?

But I'll still I tried, still I lied... and still I climbed till I fell like Frazier

My fear dealt me a death blow from the 3pt line like Fisher from the Lakers

Should've known better when I left Toya for ShaKira

That when I got to rock bottom, Karma was gonna be beside her...

For the record, I aint really mean for them to get played

And I can't take back all the decisions I've made...

But I swear I see one of they faces on any chick that I slay...

Gettin numbers like my life depends on it...

But each one looks like the same damn its so ironic

Finally reached a good point with Toya, but I don't dare call her up cause I'll say the wrong thing like...

"I love you... I really wish you'd come back..."

But deep down, I know we can never go back...

Tried fixing things with Ebony, it aint that she the one for me...

I just live a calm life, and her in it makes it crazy

Found the marriage license for me and Portia...

Damn sometimes I wish she was here in California...

Maybe it could work out, this could be something...

But all I hear her sayin is that I need help... I need nothing.

I'm not the Naj from a couple years ago... and I've probably changed from a week ago.

So to have known me means theres a NEW me...

And I don't got a problem wit evolving evidentially...

I'm just scared that eventually you'll forget me and put me on a shelf and not remember me and heart is labeled John Doe

Damn, how long this really gonna go?

And really I just wish I can take you from where you are, and put you in these size tens

and let you walk a couple miles...

Then maybe you can see my scowl underneath the smile...

And know I'm still the same 6 yr old child

Who lost his father to blow, who felt he had nowhere to go...

So turned to a notepad and got internal...

its funny that a laptop can know my secrets but I neet a girl and I get scared if she gon' leak it.

It's not me hiding shit from you, its that I'm a bit paranoid...

I'm scared you wont understand this little boy...

And I dont mean to sound selfish... but to these words and my thoughts... I am not selfless.

I feel like a crab in a bucket, tryna make it top but I'm surrounded by shellfish...

And that aint make sense so forget it...

but dont forget me... i dont wanna sound prophetic...

So fuck a girlfriend man, fuck a H.E.R...

I don't want a soulmate... I want a BELIEVER...

So if you can make a deal... best believe you can break a deal...

I'm just saying, dont say you wont judge me if you know you will...

But I'm just scared... and you was impatient...

I'm sorry that I left you hangin and I left you waiting...

I decided to let you know how I feel...

But honestly if you knew all of this before, would you and I be together still?

Don't say you will...

Shout Outs In 165...

American [PSYCHO]: Lesson's [LEARNED]

Tonight, I feel like a man on the BRINK. So many thoughts have been floating around in my head, that I barely can escape them. I’ve drank, smoked [cigarrettes] and even prayed to escape, but I can’t. Even in my sleep, I am bothered by these thoughts. Some of these thoughts I’ve had date back to when I was writing a little bit of Everything is Under Control. That’s why I named it that. Because, I was going thru these things and that’s what I would do to calm myself down say “Everything is Under Control…” I feel like I have to find some bit of solace, a bit of peace in my life. And that begins with me settling a lot of things with my father. I admit, I have a bit of abandonment issues. I always prepared for the worst of things so I accept it to a point. I always have one foot in and one foot out the door. I feel everyone eventually leaves you. People are in your life for a lifetime and a season. It becomes frustrating after while, because I don’t know how to deal with it. I wish I could talk to someone… But sometimes I’m afraid people don’t understand me. I’m almost positive they don’t… So I tend to keep things bottled in. I feel like I’m searching… Searching for one person who understands me. But I get it wrong. I expect too many things and it never works out. I lay in bed sometimes wondering, why haven’t I snapped yet? It must be because of my writing. It has to be…

This search for understanding has led me down different avenues, many relationships… I’ve been with girls… and really by this FEAR, I push them away. Canisha, Portia, Ebony, TeeTee… Everything good eventually goes away. I start by saying, I want to make things right. I want to be a good boyfriend and eventually a good husband. I hate when people say they know me because honestly, they really don’t. You just know a facet… a certain degree. And just because you may see me smiling back at you, and greet you with a brown eyed gaze… I simply am not… There. All in all, I’m still that boy in the rain. That boy who’s still standing out in that driveway looking at the limozines pull up. I miss my father. I miss his laughter. His wisdom. I wish I had him here. And I vowed to do that with Nae’shawn, but I haven’t had the chance. I want to make things right. And it hurts that I can’t with him right now being on different sides of the country. Canisha said something that stucks in my head, “I can’t take back all the mean things I’ve said about you and you can’t take back missing your son grow up… I wish you could just make it right. Life is so complex.” I made a comment that in every relationship, each girl I’ve cared about have left their print on me. With Canisha, she taught me to rely on myself. To survive in the roughest of conditions. I will always appreciate her being there throughout me being homeless, braving the cold while pregnant with our son… Not knowing where we were gonna sleep next. But we were living to see another day. Toya taught me to rely on my writing. To trust my words… She’s the only person to test me creatively. Portia taught me that no matter what roads life takes you… Love doesn’t conquer all. We had all this history, but when it came down to it… We could never close the deal. I could never close the deal. I still have those memories of the past with me. And though I thought I could trust her, and marry her… I couldn’t. Portia taught me to rely on reason. Tee Tee taught me that attraction isn’t enough. And just because you’re ready for love… you may not be ready for it at the moment. I’m glad she’s happy where she is. Ebony is teaching me to rely on another. Though, the jury is still out on me relying on her, she IS trying to show the way with whatever we have. Cause all she wants to do is be there. And while I may not be there or totally willing yet. I’ll get there. Just in my own way.

I am misunderstood…

But I long understanding…

I long for love. LOVE hurts, LOVE heals… but you must LOVE hard…

I long to love…

ME.

The Story of Us...

Looking thru the contents, pages and chapters

Damn, I thought we would live happily ever after

Life's no fairy tale, love's the same matter

I hear our cries and screams over our moans and our laughter...

Documents that show a good thing gone bad

Man I wish that I coulda gave it all that I had

I wish I could go and rewrite the past...

Maybe this thing of our could last

This love was lived like a movie script

No hollywood ending, just your heart breaking...

Only speaking truth in rhyme, no matter how bad it is

I tried to bury my heart's pain, but still it lives...

Paragraphs to a haiku, a soliloquy to a sonnet

Janet says you never know what you got til its gone... Isn't that ironic?

So with every line written, this is all that I've giving...

My prescribed LOVE of LOVE has been a self-made prison...

So every short story after is just a game...

I feel nothing... I'm numb by the thrill to gain...

It hurts so bad, I can't even speak your name

Aliases doesn't help... so who's to blame?

I can't even bear to hear voice... cause it pains me...

Remembering the days I promised you "forever my lady"...

Jodeci can't even put this in words... I've gone half-crazy...

I'm not even asking for a co-author of this masterpiece of miminalism...

I just need a better view thru life's prism...

So here's my resignation as the "brother to the night"

Let me focus on being a better brother alright?

Get together. Fall Apart. Start over once described this relationship as such

Consider this an AFTERWARD in the story of us...

"This Thing You Call [MUSIC], We Call This [LIFE]!"

There's a [REASON] why I still listen to [HIP-HOP]... An its because of [CLIPSE]...
They're funny... [SEE HERE]

Re-Up Harangue from jeff on Vimeo.

And because they can [SPIT]...[see here]

Clipse "Freedom" Music Video from Malice of the Clipse on Vimeo.

Super Size Me [FREESTYLE]

I was a bit inspired by Asher Roth's new mixtape, "Seared Foie Gras With Quince And Cranberry".
Especially the track, "Muddy Swim Trunks". So here's my hand at the freestyle...

[Music Starts]


[N]
I'm a just go on this shit here...
Maybe I'll say something impressive...
I don't even know where to come in...
Check it...


[N]
Quick life lesson: 1 plus 1 = 2, 2 plus 1 equals three
Asher got the ball, alley oops to me
I'm 5'11, balling like I'm 6'7...
I give niggas headaches with a lifetime prescription of EXCEDRIN...
Extra strength action, relief fast acting
I'm in OCEANSIDE, beside Bonita Applebum just relaxing
Wit a bottle of Corona and a 12 pack of Heineken
I'm poured up, singin "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton
I'm having the time of my life, lamping and laughing...
R.I.P Pat Swayze, though this aint "Dirty Dancing"
Volleying rhymes, like Federer playing tennis
Flowing on the beat, gotta formulate the sentences
Yeah, Pen mightier than the sword...
A 16 bar verse is the equivalent to a SCRABBLE board.
Outrhyming me is like Jay-Z working with Hanson
I scare niggas like free throws scare Nick Anderson
With the game on the line... It works every time...
Majoring in "Battle Studies", John Mayer's a professor of mine
You a LAME, common knowledge, everybody knows it.
You Gilbert Arenas in the locker room with guns unloaded... [It was a JOKE!]
You watch COPS to see inside a jail cell...
I should be in one for using these words real well...
So lock me up, please throw away the key...
Shout out to Portia for telling Eb about my B.L.O.G
You wasting energy spreading news about M dot E
That spells ME, just in case I lost you...
Are you reading clearly? Pump up the VOLUME...
Not Christian Slater, more like Rakim
Fuck Eric B., Najee for president if you ask me
Reagan 80' flow the way I spit that hard crack
Went to HELL for snuffing Jesus and Guantanamo Bay for asking OBAMA for my CHANGE back [Yo, Barack let me get that back man...]
Now everybody talk shit, it doesn't bother me a bit...
Besides I'm so confident, I take insults as a compliment [Why, thank you!]
So all your misinformed nonsense is just time well spent...
While you're at it, check out my blogsite, make sure you read every single line
Then sit and dissect it and see if I'm talking bout yo ass this time
Cause I write this shit not for me but for you and yours...
I'm just wondering the kind of convo me and pops would have about "Reasonable Doubt" back in 94'.
If I started talking bout Rap, would he really have listened?
Would he notice that his son would need him later MORE THAN EVER before that HEROIN kicked in?...
LISTEN... way before Ready to die got mixed...
Pops was lettin that other white girl drip...
It all comes back to me... Him and Uncle Noel fighting over me in a BLOCKBUSTER parking lot
While this white woman sits in the passenger looking quite hot.
I wanted to see Batman Returns so they copped that and Alien 2
Michelle Pfeiffer looking good on the big screen... It all seems like a dream.
So I sat in my room as a MC beginner...
No rap there, so I used to rap over Enya...
Damn, if Pops could see me now, he'd be hella surprised...
A small fry back then but now I'm super sized...
Goodbye.

[N]-Talking
Whew...! I told you... I'm gonna say something very impressive...

Here's ASHER ROTH'S VERSION...

"Do we [KNOW] Each Other?..." - Rusty Ryan

[Crepuscolo Sul Mare plays in the background...]
Rusty walks up smiling to a stunningly beautiful dark haired woman
Rusty: Do we know each other?
Isabel: Uh... I think I saw you yesterday...
Rusty: Oh yeah?
Isabel: Yes. I think you were being chased by the police.
Rusty [laughing]: Chasing me? I don't think so...
[CUT TO SCENE where Rusty IS being chased by the police and passes her...]
Isabel: Quite sure it was you...
Rusty: Doesn't say much for the police...


This comes from one of my favorite movies of ALL TIME [OCEAN'S TWELVE]. I've always thought of myself as the character Rusty Ryan [Brad Pitt]. You know: handsome, soft-spoken man who could best be described as "cool"...? His character was always my favorite. I thought he was cool. And I liked his devil-may-care attitude as well. This scene I'm talking about is when Rusty meets the woman who basically changed his life, Isabel. But it aint just the words spoken in the scene, it's this song... This two and a half minute song that just made me fall in love. "Crespuscolo Sul Mare" by Piero Umiliani. It reminds me of a girl I used to know. A girl I lost once before. I can call her my match when it comes to writing. She's like me with her words: Straight forward, thought evoking... full of wonder and life. I love her work, some of the ones about me... but I love her words. She's my ISABEL. Its to a point where I call her "Catherine" [Catherine Zeta-Jones played Isabel] and she calls me "Brad".

I lost her forever, due to that tryst with ShaKira but after awhile I began to keep tabs. I admit, I kinda cyber stalked her for a minute. That [Ex of Mine] link? Yup, that's her. I wanted to be as close to her without being close... I needed her words. I was saddened to hear of her illness, silently rooted for her to overcome. I waited patiently for a new blog... and nothing came. I just sat back and read all the ones she wrote before. I felt the pain in her sentences... the angst in her paragraphs about me and the end of our relationship. The elation and courage to finally let go... of me. I felt it all, and loved every word. Even the unsavory ones about me. [I'm vain like that] And without warning, she added me as a friend on facebook again. I added her with delight... but with caution. One day while I was in class, I decided to reach out... I dialed the numbers I memorized to a tee and sent her a msg: "Hi Catherine" it read. 10 minutes later, "Hi Brad" came back and suddenly we were off on a conversation about nothing, Drake, Nicki Minaj... trading classes, catching up. I was happy to talk to her... if only thru messages [I'll admit, I'm not ready to hear her voice.]. She caught me off guard when she wrote me, "You know...sometimes I miss my friend." "Crespuscolo Sul Mare" played in the background and I was knocked down, like Keri Hilson knocked down.

We rapidly rehashed words about our breakup... we talked about her "I Know" poem and how I wanted to respond. We played around and continued our convo... she thought she ruined it, but she didnt. I enjoyed it. I enjoy our conversations... Because for a moment, I'm back to when we first met... when I first saw this long, dark haired woman walk through the door of cousins wedding, when I surprised her at her crib after a dare... when she threw caution to wind and braved the roads to see me in SC. I'm back there... Back to cigarette and AXE spray scented BERT AND ERNIE shirts... Sex and the city movies.... chicken and macaroni and cheese... hugging her from behind half asleep... I'm back at that place. I admit, I blew the dust off a mix cd she made and listened to it... I was right back in... and i became upset with myself... I let myself immerse into these feelings and I shouldn't have. She doesn't deserve it... But still, today I couldn't help but crank "Crespuscolo Sul Mare" on iTunes... I couldn't help but text her... I couldn't help but think of her...

You know...

I miss my friend...

Love/Hate

Love/Hate

Written By N.Browman for This Is NGENIUS MUZICK U Listenin II!

[Music Starts]

[n]-TALKING

Turn the music up... Turn the music up please?

Okay... Right there.

It's just a...

Its just a FLY love song...

It's just a... [It's just a...] its just a fly love/hate song...

Ok... Turn me up in the headphones...

Perfect... Let's go.

[1st Verse]

Dear Y.O.U, I'm writing a lil letter

Filling out the lines as if we weren't together

Remember? You said you could promise me FOREVER

I text and I call to get no answer...

You say that I've changed girl, well maybe I've changed girl...

When I was younger, I wasn't concerned wit alot, but now I got so much in my world

Playing phone tag, arguements thru texts...

All these guessing games, who am I to know what's next?

You got a LOVE that I can't ever FORGET...

You bring me to CLIMAX... without SEX.

You're a DRUG, You're my addiction...

I'm withdrawing, Doctor fill my prescription

Don't need DRAKE to say you are the best

Just bring that LOVE back like a bounced check

I'm so confused: One minute I adore you, the other detest...

I love you one moment and I hate you the next....

But I-

[HOOK]

I love you, you, you... But at times I hate you, you, you...

I said girl I LOVE YOU, you, you... But now I hate you, you, you...

I think you LOVE me too, too, too... But now you hate too, too, too...

It's HARD to love you... but is EASY to hate you...

So what we gon do, do, do?

So now we like DAMN, DAMN, DAMN...

Now we like DAMN, DAMN, DAMN...

[2nd Verse]

Now give me the 808 for a minute...

Turn the lights low, lets talk for a second...

One minute I hate you, cause you got my mind stressing...

The next I love you, now we in the room undressing...

Show me you want it girl, I need an expression

On your body I leave an impression

You bring me to an indescribable heaven

And then you leave me swallowing a bottle of EXCEDRIN...

A sick sense of affection

Sucker for punishment, you're my obsession...

I wonder if this is all a LESSON

I dont if LOVING you is a CURSE or a BLESSING

But girl-

[HOOK]

I love you, you, you... But at times I hate you, you, you...

I said girl I LOVE YOU, you, you... But now I hate you, you, you...

I think you LOVE me too, too, too... But now you hate too, too, too...

It's HARD to love you... but is EASY to hate you...

So what we gon do, do, do?

So now we like DAMN, DAMN, DAMN...

Now we like DAMN, DAMN, DAMN...

[3rd Verse]

Come here lil mama... Hold up, back away lil mama...

Don't keep me waiting lil mama... I'm sorry I hating you again lil mama...

If I had it my way lil mama... I'd date ya everyday lil mama....

I cant wait, I'm sorry... Lay down, take my apology...

You know how I go lil mama...

Put it down, eat it up like a straight pirana...

Take that flower... Face that flower...

Take my heart and never give it back is what you do...

you, you, you...

So what we gonna do, do, do?

I have ya heart and I'll never give it back to you, you, you...

See girl-

[HOOK]

I love you, you, you... But at times I hate you, you, you...

I said girl I LOVE YOU, you, you... But now I hate you, you, you...

I think you LOVE me too, too, too... But now you hate too, too, too...

It's HARD to love you... but is EASY to hate you...

So what we gon do, do, do?

So now we like DAMN, DAMN, DAMN...

Now we like DAMN, DAMN, DAMN...

[N]-Talking.

Ay, Bubba... let me hear that... let me get that guitar back...

Yeah, right there...

This is a love/hate song...

One minute I love you, the next minute I hate you...

Men, you know what I'm saying... Ladies, you feel me too.

They just got that power to make you love em and hate em at the same time...

Ay Bubba, let me um... Get that back after the first hook.

Were we recording the adlibs?

Oh really?

We just gon let it burn on out...

Light up that philly, that swisher... that incense...

turn the lights down low...

Vibe on out...

Just fade me out... yeah...

What we gon' do?....

What we gon' do?....

What we gon' do?....

Baby...

What we gon' do?....

[End]